Ice cream survival!

I promised you a detailed explanation of the Cal, cal problem, here it comes!

Is it impossible to survive out of icecreams?

Nope!

(But it depends for how long! And the next time you see a title with an interrogation mark, remember Betteridge's law of headline. You will therefore understand why I always want to burn the journalists who use such a technique. Soon, you will be like me and become angry every time you see a question mark in a title! Except for this one, because it is just to teach you that horrible truth, therefore helping me fighting that horrible literary disaster ((that feels strange to not have a nesting checker for the parentheses like in my favorite editor (vim (with the m for iMproved)(I just copied and paster to check))) the best way to help is to send me all your money (all your money are belong to us))).

On ice creams, beer, and calories

The problem comes from this site. They state that the calorific content of an ice cream (in term of energy for the human organism) is less than the energy needed to increase the temperature of the ice cream from 0C (frozen) to 37C (or, to use SI units 273.15K to 310.15K, even if the Celcius is really appropriate for this problem). Said otherwise, they claim that if you only eat ice creams, you will lose weight, and, if you continue, you will reach the ultimate goal of your life (do not forget me in your will).
 However, the demonstration uses these little strange units named (c/C)alories.


So, let's do the correct computation using Joules instead of Cal and cal!
The USDA source state that a typical portion of 66g of ice cream will give you 143 Cal i.e. 143 kcal * 4.184 kJ /kcal = 600 kJ (round up).

Let's suppose that you do not wait for the ice cream to melt a little before eating it (which I think you do not, but, for science's sake, let's suppose it). You first need to use some energy to bring your 66g of ice cream from the frozen state to the liquid state, both at 0C. The latent heat for fusion is 334 J/g for water; water is a good approximation for ice cream for such a computation. So, you need 334 J/g * 66 g = 22kJ of energy. Then, bringing your liquid cream to 37C will also require some energy. The specific heat capacity for liquid water is  4.1813 J(/g.K) (and it does not significantly vary with the water temperature). We therefore spend 66 g * 37 K * 4.1813 * J/(g.K) = 10 kJ to raise the ice cream to body temperature.

Let's do the balance: you eat 600 kJ of energy, and you spend 32 kJ of energy to bring it to body temperature. So you gain 568 kJ of energy!
Of course, if you mixed Cal and cal, you could have calculated a loss of 32kJ.
Once again, the conclusion is simple: let's destroy the Calorie and the calorie as units of energy!
Who would use such outdated and impractical units of energy in the age of other planet's exploration?

Oh, I forgot the essential: if you eat only ice creams, considering that there is virtually no C vitamin in it, you will die of scurvy (the first symptoms will appear about 3 month after the beginning of the experiment; I unfortunately have a lack of volunteers to check those claims, and it seems that animal experiments are of no use since a lot of them create their own C vitamin, because they do not lack the appropriate enzyme (another way to show how inefficient the human body is)).
You know what? YOU can help science by performing that experiment, at home, and letting us know when YOU get scurvy! (Just sign the paper that says that I did not gave you the idea, and the other one that says that if you are rich, all the money goes to me).